


Close to Heaven

by Dalankar



Category: EXO (Band), Super Junior
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-09
Updated: 2012-12-09
Packaged: 2017-11-20 16:19:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/587327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dalankar/pseuds/Dalankar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Donghae looks at Hyukjae, soft golden hair glowing in the late afternoon sunlight and wonders about love at first sight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close to Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Boys in the city season 4.

_He falls. And when he wakes up, his wings are gone. He looks up at the sky and for the first time in whole of eternity the sun burns his eyes._

_Heaven does not want him anymore._

 

\---

 

Donghae turns his head to look again. He is still there. Golden hair falling in to his eyes, head tilted up at the spotless blue sky of the day. Donghae hadn't thought when he booked the ferry that he'd spend most of his time watching one person rather than the beautiful and iconic Parisian scenery passing by him on the Seine.

 

Donghae looks back down at the camera in his hands, wondering if he'd be able to take a photo without the golden haired boy noticing. Maybe he can pretend to take a photo of the bridge. Or that tall cathedral they're about to pass soon. Maybe.

 

He turns around to casually lean back against the railing and freezes when he finds the wide brown eyes of the center of his focus looking right back at him. _Wow_. This has got to be the most beautiful person he had ever seen. And imagine if he had given in to his brain's urgings and not come. He's heard this is the most romantic city in the world. But really? Romance was the last thing on his mind when he came here. Not that this is going to lead to any romance. A person as gorgeous as the one currently holding him with his eyes, probably has a trail of suitors as long as this river.

 

The golden haired boy turns around and Donghae relaxes with a sigh, slightly disappointed. He tries to fight back the burn on his cheeks that he'd been caught at his staring. He fiddles with his camera, a present from Jungsu hyung. With his bright smile and sincere wish for him to 'come back with an easier heart', and snaps a few quick photos of nothing in particular.

 

Everyone gets excited when the Notre Dame comes in to view, migrating en mass to the left side of the ship, iPhone cameras working over time. Donghae, glad for the great position he already held, snaps a few shots of his own of the gothic spires. He'd been very excited to see the Notre Dame, even looked up its history. But right now he finds the monsters and mystery of the cathedral does not draw him as much as his desire to turn around and see if the golden haired boy is still there.

 

"Hi," a voice whispers beside him and Donghae tries not to drop his camera. He turns around and forgets to breathe.

 

\---

 

He doesn't know what it is. Fate or god or just coincidence when he finds that Lee Hyukjae, yes that is his name, is joining the same tour as him. He doesn't wonder why Hyukjae is joining in the second last city of the tour, after Antonio, their very cute, very Italian, tour guide said, with an incredibly heavy Italian accent, that Italy is the last country for anyone to join the tour. And they had left Italy behind four days ago.

 

He wishes Hyukjae had been there in Rome, walking the colosseum with him and getting painful sunburn because he wasn’t sure how much sunblock was enough. He wishes Hyukjae had been there in Venice while he walked the brightly lit alleyways and crowded town squares alone. He wishes Hyukjae had been there under the bright lights of Lucerne, watching the moon rise over the mountains.

 

But he is here now and Donghae thanks his lucky stars for his good fortune as Hyukjae stands next to him at the railing as their ferry comes in to dock. Another ferry , as packed with bright faced tourists like their own, leaves as they arrive and people wave across the rippling black water to each other, infected with joy of being in Paris, which Donghae must say is fast becoming his favourite city, trumping over Venice, just because of the person standing by his shoulder.

 

They decide to skip the tour group dinner, which Donghae would have skipped anyway. Mostly because his spoken English is not the best and no one else spoke Korean in the group. But also because he wants to keep Lee Hyukjae all to himself for a little while longer. He is sure that once he meets the rest of the group, they would all fall in love with him just like Donghae. Wait. Fall in love? No. That's not what he meant. For all people talked about love at first sight, he knows it's probably not possible to fall in love with someone you've only known for an hour. Even if Hyukjae is the most beautiful person Donghae has ever seen.

He remembers when he had first met-. No. He doesn't want to think about that. _That_ is exactly what he doesn’t want to think about while he is here. He'd only come because he didn't want to drive everyone insane with his melancholy back home. As Heechul hyung assured him he was doing on a daily basis.

 

Hyukjae says he doesn't mind skipping the dinner as they disembark the ship with a flood of people, all eager for their next hit of Parisian splendour.

 

They walk along the river. Hyukjae seems enchanted by the way the river reflects the lights from the ferries, all blue and white and gold. Donghae has to admit it is quite spectacular. It reminds him of a painting he might have seen online when he was looking up this city on Google.  Jongwoon hyung would know. He knows about a lot of arty things.

Hyukjae walks quietly beside him but Donghae doesn't mind. Some people are quiet and some people are not. Like Heechul hyung and Hankyung hyung.  But he's quite sure Hankyung hyung doesn't talk much because even after all this time his Korean is not entirely at his command. But lucky for him, Heechul hyung talks enough for ten people.

And just like that he misses home. Misses being in the kitchen. Misses Youngwoon hyung poking his head through the door and yelling out orders and Jungsu hyung's bright smile as he welcomes customers and Ryeowookie's quiet, determined face as he sets a plate to perfection. He misses the shelter and the smiling faces of the kids as they crowd around him when he visits and Donghee hyung's tired, smiling face as he watches them. He misses Kyuhyunnie. The kid better be focussing on his studies and not spending too much time with his boyfriend. Not that he has anything against Siwon but Kyuhyun needs good grades to get into university. Donghae couldn't be more proud of him if he was his own brother.

 

He misses home, yes, but not enough to want to go back just yet.

 

"What are you thinking?" Hyukjae asks, leaning back on the concrete wall guarding the river from the road. He is framed in the soft golden light of the Parisian night, golden hair catching the bright lights of the ferries passing behind him. Hyukjae is almost glowing and for a moment all Donghae can do is stare.

 

"Donghae," Hyukjae prompts gently and Donghae comes back down to earth with a blush.

 

"Sorry, I … I was thinking about my friends back home."

 

"In Seoul?"

 

Donghae had told him about life back home on the ferry, still finding himself staring at this beautiful stranger with fascinated eyes. He doesn't know why it feels so easy to talk to Hyukjae. Maybe it is just the freedom of finally getting to speak in his own language after two weeks of broken English. Maybe it's the way Hyukjae is looking at him, brown eyes soft and just a little sad. Donghae knows what it is to be sad. Kibum would-. No. Stop.

 

"Yes." Donghae smiles, deliberately turning his mind to Jungsu hyung's bright, smiling face and the sounds of Kyuhyunnie singing in the shower.

 

"You want to go back?"

 

Donghae shakes his head immediately. "No. I want to spend more time with you," he says and blushes immediately, hoping the lights aren't bright enough for Hyukjae to see it. Hyukjae smiles and Donghae ducks his head.

 

"Thank you." Hyukjae's voice is so soft that Donghae forgets his embarrassment and looks up. "I'd like to spend more time with you too."

 

Donghae feels the smile on his face wide enough to split his face in two.

 

"Really?" he asks and kicks himself because what idiot would question such good fortune.

 

Hyukjae laughs and looks slightly startled. "Yes," he says warmly.

 

They walk through the streets of Paris. Donghae is utterly fascinated with the old, ornate buildings and sense of persistent joy he can feel embedded in to every stone and monument. He feels like they're walking through time, that history is walking side by side.

 

They have dinner at a lively restaurant where the waitress, beautiful and dark skinned and utterly charmed by them, kisses them both on the cheeks twice before they leave, making Donghae blush and stammer and Hyukjae smile and bow.

 

They buy gelato from a side vendor and Donghae dares to take a bite from Hyukjae's strawberry mountain and when Hyukjae reaches for his pistachio madness in retaliation, Donghae kisses him under the bright street lights of Paris with people milling around them, happy and drunk and alive. He kisses Hyukjae and tastes strawberries and pistachios and sunlight. He curses himself for a fool moment later and is about to draw away when he feels Hyukjae's warm hand at the back of his neck, pulling him closer and fitting them perfectly together. Donghae sighs happily in to the kiss and feels the pain seeping from his pores to be absorbed by the stones and pillars of this beautiful city and feels strawberries and sunlight wade in to fill that now-vacant space.

 

\---

 

There is a stranger in their room on their last day in Paris when he emerges from the bathroom. He is beautiful with fine dark hair and porcelain skin. Donghae blinks and wonders why on earth he just imagined wings. Hyukjae is standing with his back against the wall and both pairs of his eyes turn to him when he takes a hesitant step in to the room.

 

"Is this him?" The new comer asks and his voice sounds like music, like bird song. Hyukjae moves so fast across the room to stand between Donghae and the dark haired man. Hyukjae is standing so close. Close enough for Donghae to see the tightly wound set of his shoulders.

 

The new comer sighs.

 

"What are you thinking? Do you really think this is an option for you? What do you think will happen when the others find out? We are not to interfere."

 

"I chose this. This is what I want." Hyukjae's voice is trembling and Donghae hesitantly touches his hand to his back. Hyukjae is so warm, almost like he's running a fever.

 

"Your choice?" The stranger with the deceptively sweet voice scoffs. "Do you think you can choose? This," Donghae loses his breath when those dark eyes turn to him, "is against all our laws. Do you want to lose everything for him? Is he worth eternity?"

 

"Eternity is worth nothing if all we can do is watch this world burn like we're powerless to stop it!" Hyukjae yells. "Donghae is worth eternity a thousand times over."

 

The stranger narrows his eyes.

 

"Oh? This is rebellion then? Do you think you can break the rules and not face the consequences?" The voice is deceptively sweet and sends a shiver down Donghae's spine and he wonders if he'd somehow stepped out from one reality to another. From Hyukjae, beautiful and golden in his arms an hour ago to Hyukjae now, tense and terrified, almost shaking under his hand.

 

"Leave Donghae out of this." Hyukjae's voice is suddenly filled with panic as the lights in the room begin to flicker. "Please, he is innocent. I fell in love with him. I pursued him. Please." Hyukjae falls to his knees and Donghae falls with him. There is no more light in the room except where the cold stranger is standing. Donghae buries his face in Hyukjae's neck and feels the golden hair pressing against his face, soft as silk. He hears thunder, low and threatening. He wraps his arms around Hyukjae, the heat almost enough to scald him. He doesn't let go.

 

"You have brought this upon yourself!" The voice is not so musical now as it booms across the room.

 

Hyukjae turns in his arms. There are tears on his face and Donghae doesn't know why he thinks of wings.

 

"Forgive me."

 

Donghae touches his face and knows he is going to die. Even if he doesn't understand why.

 

"I love you."

 

And maybe it's okay because he believes in love at first sight now. He wishes he could see Hyukjae's smile again.

 

There is a crack, like the whole building is ripping apart. Hyukjae enfolds him in his wings. Donghae smiles and closes his eyes.

 

_Of course he is._

 

He remembers nothing after that.

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He lifts his head form the table and blinks blearily at Jungsu hyung's worried face hovering above him.

 

"Go to bed, Donghae-ah."

 

Donghae sits back on the chair, pushing his blue hoodie out of his face.

 

"I'm sorry I fell asleep, hyung," he apologises. Jungsu shakes his head.

 

"It wasn't very busy today. Monday nights are usually like that anyway." The small smile on Jungsu hyung's face does nothing to erase the worry in his eyes. Donghae feels the familiar guilt stir in his gut. He's making Jungsu hyung worry again. He'd come back from his trip with a heavier heart than he left. How could you possibly feel worse? Did you love Kibum that much?

 

Donghae can think about Kibum now without the familiar twist in his heart. He knows that's not why but doesn't understand why he feels like this. Nothing had happened on the trip. He hadn't done anything too exciting, hadn't met anyone worth remembering. All in all it had been an entirely uneventful trip. Except for that one time in Paris when he'd woken up in hysterics. Try as hard as he might, he still can't remember the dream that caused it.

 

So why does he feel like his heart is ripped in two? Why does he feel a sense of loss so great that sometimes he has to sit down before he falls over? Why does he wake up in the middle of the night and crave strawberries?

 

He has no answers to any of these questions and thinks Heechul hyung is quite justified in thinking he's gone slightly insane. Donghae would probably take out the 'slightly' and just declare himself insane and check himself in to a mental institute. Maybe the drugs would help ease his inexplicable pain.

 

  
"Would you be able to drop off the food to the shelter tomorrow? The kids have been asking about you," Jungsu hyung asks, snapping him out of his melancholy again. His gentle fingers card through Donghae's hair. Donghae feels another pang of guilt at the mention of the kids. He hasn't gone to visit them since he got back. All the presents he had bought for them from Europe are still in his bag.

 

"Of course, hyung. I'll do it. I even missed Chanyeol's laugh while I was away."

 

Jungsu hyung laughs and Donghae smiles because he sounds less worried now. They climb the stairs together, Jungsu hyung keeping a warm hand on his shoulder. Kyuhyun is a sleep already, sprawled all over his bed. Donghae resists the urge to ruffle his hair and climbs in to his own bed. It's a measure of how worried he must be that Jungsu hyung sits down on the side of his bed. He arranges the blankets around Donghae and he feels like he's fifteen again and Jungsu hyung is tucking him in to bed at night at the shelter with five other boys waiting for Jungsu hyung to bid them goodnight. He had always been hyung's favourite.

 

He takes Jungsu hyung's hand in his own. "I'm sorry I make you worry, hyung," he whispers. Jungsu leans down and kisses his forehead.

 

"I just want you to be happy, Donghae-ah."

 

Donghae falls asleep to Jungsu hyung's gentle hands in his hair.

 

\---

 

Donghae stumbles in to the kitchen, trying to manage the crates filled with leftover food from the restaurant. Usually Ryeowookie would help him but he's busy today, Jongwoon hyung is having a rare day off work so Ryeowookie's spending the day with him before coming back to cook at the restaurant in the evening. This means Donghae has to help Donghee hyung with the cooking at the shelter before he heads back. But atleast they can get the kids to help. Kyungsoo's a good cook. Ryeowookie had said once that the kid could be as good as him one day and Kyungsoo had spent the whole week glowing.

 

He puts the crates on the floor beside the door because he knows the single table in the room will not hold their weight. He picks up the bag of chocolates he'd brought for the boys from Europe and straightens up.

He blinks at the golden haired stranger working at the sink. There is a pile of pots and pans next to him, awaiting his attention. Donghae grins. It's the first job Donghee hyung gives to any newcomer. Donghae himself had been stuck at the job for quite awhile until Kyuhyunnie came along. Ryeowookie had been promoted straight to assistant cook because he'd been just that good even then.

 

"Yah!" Donghae calls and the new comer turns, eyes wide in surprise. Donghae blinks, because _wow_.

 

"Donghae," The beautiful stranger breathes, taking a step towards him.

 

"How do you-how do you know my name?"

 

The new comer freezes and Donghae's heart twists at the pain he sees that makes the long fingered hands clench in to fists.

 

"I-I'm sorry," the stranger blinks rapidly and takes a step back. "Donghee hyung told me. He said you'd be stopping by."

 

Donghae nods slowly and stares. He doesn't know why he suddenly thinks of wings.

 

"Lee Hyukjae. I'm Lee Hyukjae."  There is a hopeful smile on Lee Hyukjae's face and Donghae thinks he's just met the most beautiful person on the planet. How is it that he went all the way to Europe and never met someone like Lee Hyukjae? Why is his life ridiculous like this?

 

"Nice to meet you, Lee Hyukjae." Donghae grins. "You already know my name."

 

Lee Hyukjae smiles tremulously. "I do."

 

\---

 

Chanyeol sticks to his side like glue once he discovers Donghae in the kitchen. He distributes the chocolate to the kids and smiles at their bright smiles and excited voices.

 

"Is it all for us, hyung?" Baekhyun, dark haired and too small for his twelve years, asks.

 

Donghae ruffles his hair. "Of course it is."

 

Jongin and Sehun are laughing and pulling at each other as they both reach for the same bar. Sehun wins, but Donghae knows he will share with Jongin. As he does everything else.

 

Joonmyun smiles shyly at him as he tastes a bar of chocolate and Kyungsoo picks up the discarded wrappers off the floor, long suffering look on his face.

 

"Hyung, here have some." Chanyeol offers him half of his own and Donghae blinks back tears and kisses the boy's hair. "I like my teeth the way they are, Chanyeol-ah."

 

Chanyeol grins and Donghae looks over at Lee Hyukjae watching them with a soft smile. Donghee hyung had told him that Hyukjae had just turned up one day with nothing and no one just a few days before Donghae arrived back from Europe. What was he supposed to do? Turn him out on to the street? Hyukjae had agreed to work for food and board. How could I say no to that face? Donghae whole heartedly agreed. He walks over to Lee Hyukjae waiting at the bottom of the steps.

 

"Here." He holds out the small chocolate bar he'd saved for Hyukjae. Hyukjae looks at the chocolate and back at him.

 

"I think the kids would love it more than me," Hyukjae says quietly. Donghae looks at him, soft golden hair glowing in the late afternoon sunlight and wonders about love at first sight.

 

"Kyungsoo-ah," he calls turning around. "Here." He throws the bar and Kyungoo drops the empty wrappers by reaching up a hand to catch the flying chocolate bar. Donghae watches as the other boys help pick up the wrappers and turns back to Lee Hyukjae with a smile.

 

"Can I take you out for ice cream instead?" he asks, deciding that he does indeed believe in love at first sight.

 

Hyukjae smiles and Donghae forgets to breathe.

 

"I like strawberry."

 

Somehow Donghae knows Jungsu hyung won't have to worry about him anymore.

 

 

*** 

 

 


End file.
